Shitty Fingers: A Tale of Some of the Most Fucked Up Bathrooms of Businesses


On the eve of Easter, I had an emergency. I mean I really had to to go. So, I decided to go to a small convenience store in Irving, Texas. I asked the cashier where the bathroom was. After they pointed to the left of the store, I hurried to the bathroom to take a dump. Once I got in the bathroom I became horrified.

Not only did I have to take a shit really bad, I had to figure out how in the fuck I was going to take a shit in the first place, because the toilet was so close to the wall, that I couldn’t put my leg any where so that I could have leg room to at least squat.

The space was so tiny between the wall and the toilet, that it would only be proper for this particular bathroom to only be appropriate for use as a bathroom to potty train toddlers. It was that bad!!! As a result, I had to shit « side saddle position ». You know, when you sit on a horse that is facing straight and you have to sit side ways.

Well, that’s side saddle. I think that if I chose to shit while standing up, it would have been a catastrophe. Plus, people can ruin toilets that way. The whole experience was horrible. I didn’t even have enough arm room to even wipe my ass! What did I get in return because the toilet was in the wrong place in the bathroom, with space that is too small? I ended up with shitty fingers.

It was horrible! After I left I had to stop at Subway to finish cleaning my ass. Shit.


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